Inspired by Rupi Kaur

-
Boys
Are not linear
They will give their all
To a butterfly
Yet all and the world
To a snake

Do not concern yourself
With the sense
And the nonsense
Be content that the butterfly
Flies high above
The snake who stays
On the ground

Comments

  1. TKHApril 7, 2020 at 5:27 PM

    This is so great. I'm familiar with and admire Rupi as a poet, and I can so see how how this poem was inspired by her! I think the "linear" imagery is so interesting, especially in connection with snakes that resemble linearness.
    I do feel like "all" and "yet all and the world" sound a tad awkward. Maybe try something like "they will give their world" and "yet their whole world"?
    I also love the phrasing of "with the sense and the nonsense"- I think that is so clever. Perhaps just add a cline in between that and the next verse to describe where/in what the sense/nonsense lives.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rachel LieblingApril 20, 2020 at 8:31 AM

    Wow, Honey, this is one of those poems that are strong because every line has to matter. I also love the "sence and nonsense" lines.
    I see why you have snake as contrastive with the butterfly character for whom we are rooting, but I was thinking how it would read if the snake was different animal that is less immediately repulsive. Meaning, while we will still root for butterfly, there is some disposition about the "other" that is more complex than flat disgust. Especially because your poem so accurately asserts that character traits "are not linear"

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  3. Paradigm ShiftApril 20, 2020 at 12:23 PM

    In response to Talya's comment, I rather liked your phrasing of "their all" versus " Yet all and the world." I had this image of an overwhelming abundance of love that manages to be topped for a boys love of another being- likely a vile one who for some reason is not deserving of equal or greater attention than that given to the butterfly

    ReplyDelete
  4. Honey RogoffMay 12, 2020 at 11:51 AM

    *Added third stanza:
    Men
    I do not know
    For I do not know
    A man

    ReplyDelete

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